The Truth Will Set You Free

I have finally accepted the fact that in life, even the people you love will let you down.

Let you down a lot.

I cried for two years about you. 

Barely a month after we stopped dating, you moved on.

You've had the same girlfriend for two years.

And for a good amount of time, I've been roaming the planet, somehow pining for you, hoping one day you would  ask for me back.

But you aren't the person I had made up in my heart. 

In my head you sounded so much better.

But you aren't.

Yes you may be nice to your family and close friends, but you're only real motive is yourself.

It's always been about you Gordon.

You are a self-conceited dick my friend.

I am finally okay with you being out of my head and out of my life.

I can be me.

Like my own music, and my own movies.

Liking the same things as you always made me think you'd miss me.

But you are not the Gordon I knew.

And I am not the Jane I was.

And a massive part of the reason I was hooked for so long was because not only did I only remember the good times and never the bad, but because I was so scarred from what you did to me.

You just left.

It was out of the blue, and blew me away.

I was shocked.

And I vowed I would never want to care about someone that way ever again because I never wanted to feel that way EVER again.

And this is what I realized yesterday in the midsts of breaking up with John.

Maybe I'm crazy.

Maybe it's all in my head again.

But I think I'm cured.

Every reason as to why I could never truly commit has come to my attention, setting me free.

All I want to do is go tell John that I love him.

I feel so free.

He is in my past, and I have never been able to say that.

John is who I want to be with.

He makes me happy. 

So fuck you Gordon.

Consider yourself dead to me, and I hope I never have to see you again.

:)