Hey Stephen

I have some serious trust issues that are becoming more evident every day.
But my body is doing this thing where if it senses danger, (rejection), it completely backs off and wants nothing to do with it.
I'm giving him a Christmas gift.
It's a little thank you for bringing me to weightroom.
I painted a picture of a baseball with a Babe Ruth quote under it and on the back of it I taped a gas card.
It's whatever.
But honestly so much of me just wants him to be a part of my life.
I just want it all with him.
It's a big deal because of how picky I really am.
It just needs to happen already.
Or not.
I hate this limbo.
It's annoying.
But I asked him if we were still hanging out tomorrow night in which he said that his college buddies were home and they invited him to poker.
I could care less, I was just trying to figure out my life.
He looked at me and said "Why don't you go hang out with Gordon or something."
He said it in a disgusted tone.
Why did he bring him up?
Was he jealous?
Or was he just being an asshole?
It's just shitty because I honestly wished I didn't like anyone.
But I really like Stephen and it's pissing me off.