Your Name Here

I don't like going in my closet because I see Mary's dress.
I don't like going in my sock drawer because Becca's socks are in there.
I don't like going past Blodget Street, because Gordon lives there.
And I especially hate going on facebook and seeing Pat's girlfriend's (who I use to dance with) status's about how her Gordon, Laura, and Pat are all going camping.
My heart sunk when I saw that.
Not because I wasn't going at all.
But because I would have never been aloud to do that.
Nor would I ever want that.
I would HATE to go camping.
That is not my idea of fun at all.
Only because I don't get much sleep, but when I do, I want to sleep comfortably.
And it also makes me a little sick wondering about the sleeping situation.
Only because I mean, that's just weird.
I even get a little sick thinking about Ben doing stuff with other girls.
But it got me thinking.
I would only want to be back with G because it would fix my social life.
But I honestly would hate being with him.
I'd be so resentful.
I'd hate him.
So frankly I'm fine.
But it's like whenever something doesn't work out with another guy, it makes me miss him.
And when I sit in a silent room taking SAT'S for 5 hours, you start to think.
I wasn't even thinking about him when all of a sudden his room popped into my head.
I was thinking about his posters on his ceiling, and his basketball hoop.
It just made me think, wow.
I'm sure I don't cross his mind much.
Because when I like another guy, well Nick at least, he totally left my mind.
It just is hard.
And confusing.
And I just feel like I'm carrying around a ghost.
Like, they are all okay.
And I'm just not.
I've tried everything to heal it up.
Heal me up.
To fill the holes they've left.
But nothing works.
Nothing at all.
It did cross my mind that it was me who drove them away.
But deep down, I know I did what I thought was best.
And that's all that matters in the end.