Up In The Air

You know, I'm sick of feeling sick.
Like my stomach a lot of the time is knots.
Or it flips.
I don't really get why though.
Things shouldn't really bother me like that.
Like finding out that news yesterday, why did that make me react like that?
Getting me sick?
Making me lose my appetite, which by the way, never happens.
I dunno.
Maybe I'm totally wrong.
Maybe he's totally in love with her.
Maybe I mean nothing to him.
But somehow I find that hard to believe, given our history.
I just don't know why it makes me sick.
Cause to be honest I don't really care that much.
But it's just really up in the air.
I feel like he and I have a destiny.
Maybe not together, but somehow our lives link.
But I feel okay.
I'm really okay with whatever.
Whatever's meant to be will be.
As for now, I'm gonna work on me.

I love getting new clothes.
It's my favorite.
Because it makes me feel like I'm changing myself as a person for the better.
Because so much of the time I feel so mundane.
I like to individualize myself.
To be different.
To be kind of a punk.
Stand out.
Because that's just who I am.
I'm also a goober and an asshole.
But hey, aren't we all?