Leaps And Bounds

I'm a bad kid.
I gave up facebook for lent.
And then went on it tonight.
I disgust myself.
Of course I google the usual suspects.
All of them look like hell.
But I didn't throw up.
That's a good sign, right?
I just realize over time, I don't know what I missed.
There isn't much to miss.
They've all gone to hell.
But for the first time, I can honestly say, I don't want him.
I was thinking tonight of who I wanted curled up next to me while I fall asleep.
And it wasn't him.
Wow.
That's a milestone in my opinion.
Such massive progress.
He's becoming an Ian.
And I love this.
I want something new and exciting.
And this takes the world off my shoulders.

I hate when she screws with my head.
When I am completely positive I want to quit, it's like she's nice and pulls me back in.
It's a terrible cycle to be honest.
Because when I hate her, I hate her.
I know I won't do company next year.
But that makes me sad because I know I'd get good parts.
I just couldn't put up with all the rest it.
The drama, etc.
Ew.
A job and school sounds so much better at this point.

I'm not sure if I'm just PMSing, but everyone seems to be pissing me off lately when they don't even do anything.
But today at dance I totally had reason.
But still, I hate being mad at people.
Too much drama.
And that's the thing.
I create drama, but only in my mind.
I almost never say much to anyone about anything.
Just keep your head down and keep on pushing I guess.

I'll be a senior soon...
I got my report card and made Honor Role.
I was happy.
But I just can't believe I'll be a senior.
It's so old.
I'm not ready for college yet.
I'm scared it'll be a hard transition.
I'm not good with change, as we all know too well.
I guess you could say I'm good.
Enjoying the little things in life.
Loving the experience, you know?
I'd like to say I'm a good person.
Just have to work on sone stuff is all.