Recalculating

It was the most enjoyable conversation I've had with the male species in a long time.
We talked for almost 12 hours.
About everything.
It was rather unreal.
It makes me think.
I liked the conversation.
That doesn't happen often.
It's not that I'm an unhappy person.
It's just a lot of the time, I'm more, sober I guess is the word.
I'm not usually quiet.
But sometimes I'm just somber.
Today life was interesting.
Confusing, but interesting.

Dance has become unbearable.
It's to the point you question why you do it.
Feeling beautiful and shit is no longer.
It's more of a let's-just-get-this-over-with type of deal now.
It's sad.
I miss the old days where I loved every part of it.
Nowadays I don't know what I love.

I've been having flashbacks of the Mont Vernon house.
I'm not sure why, or what it's suppose to be telling me.
I'm a believer in signs, and symbols.
But this I don't understand.
At least not yet.

You're working at Fisher Cats now.
I'm not that upset about it.
It's just kinda funny.
Respect?
I think not.
Desparate?
Absolutely.