Life Isn't Fair Sweetie

I am so sensitive sometimes.
Very sensitive about wanting my own life.
I am an idiot for ever allowing certain individuals to creep into other sections of my life.
Because now that one section of my life is either over or completely under construction at the moment, not sure which, they still are allowed into that part.
I'm not.
And it's so hard for me to grasp.
Because the funny thing is, is that I was a true friend to all those people.
I was the one who reached out.
And now I'm the one out of the loop.
It doesn't seem fair really.
It hurts somewhat too.
I just wish I had my own life.
Not sharing it with everyone under the sun.
My life.
If I ever have another relationship again in high school, I'm not letting anyone into it.
Because me reaching out before has only caused me pain.
Kind of ironic.
It's just an observation.
Because now I'm on the outside looking in.

It seems that every time I go to church, the readings always relate to my life perfectly.
Now if that isn't faith, I dunno what is.
It just makes me think.
I wish I was more religious.
It might help a bit cope with the everyday occurences in my life.
I just want to be content.
I don't want to wish I were anyone else but me.
Maybe if I find God, I may see brighter days.
Just a thought.