Dear Jane, You've Been Punk'd.

I'm in the grocery store.
Alone, grabbing something for an art project.
I'm in the checkout line.
And two people behind me, I spot her.
She says, "Oh hi Jane!".
I'm in shock.
My face turned red and tingly.
I felt light headed.
And my heart started beating a million miles an hour.
I was having a terrible day to start with.
This was like the icing on the cake.
I finally responded,"Oh hi Mrs. Duffley!".
Easily would happen to me.
I felt like I needed to go have a short but sweet converation.
I went over, and she smiled and hugged me.
I felt sick.
My heart still jumping out of my chest.
I was praying she didn't notice.
We began talking.
The normal how are you's, how's everything going, etc.
I told her I was dancing again.
She was shocked.
I made it sound like I was super busy on purpose.
I mean I am.
But I wanted to get the point across.
I finally asked the burning question.
"How is he?" I said probably too fast.
She looked at me.
Probably processing the fact that we didn't talk.
"Good, he's good. He's super busy, with two math classes this semester. So he basically is always doing homework. He's playing basketball, but he never actually plays. He goes to the games and practices, but never plays. So we don't know what will happen next year."
Two thoughts came to mind.
1. Hope he and his long distance chick are having a good time with all of his free time.
2. Hahahahaha he's not playing. At first I laughed, but then I felt kinda sympathetic.
After our little exchange, I was shaking.
It was the first time I'd seen her since everything.
I wondered what she had heard, and what she really thought of me.
But all in all, I didn't care.
But it oddly reminded me of why we aren't together.
And in all, I really am okay.
I didn't dwell on it.
I'm really just fine.

Seriously, you've changed so much I don't even care what you do with your life.
I don't need you to be bitchy to me every chance you get.
Go away, because you and your friends are way too cool for me.
I am so much happier without you.

I miss being with a boy.
I know it sounds stupid.
But I really do.
And I feel so ready to be with someone new.
I'm so bored of my life.
I miss loving, and being cute.
Frankly just guy friends in general would do.
But I dunno.
I have my eyes on one.
Too bad he's actually a great person with a life ahead of him who is super busy and is too busy for a girlfriend.
And too bad I'm too busy for a boyfriend.
Whatever.