Well, I Could Always Run To Canada. HAH.

I'm so ready to be done with high school.
So ready to be done all this shit.
I'm so sick of pretending.
People who get drunk, high, have sex frequently, and who really aren't nice people, thinking they're gold.
It makes me sick.
I don't talk to many of them anymore.
I actually have a life, and don't need to settle for disgusting people.
Shocking, I know.
To think you're cool, but in all reality you're scum, is pretty harsh I know.
But I'm not trying to be negative.
I'm speaking in terms of reality.
I hope your whole group is happy.
Hope you miss me.
Because oddly, I don't miss you.

I'm starving.
But I can't go downstairs because my father flipped out.
We are very much a like.
I wish I respected him more.
And loved him more.
Because sadly, when I picture my father, I don't picture him as my father.
He's done nothing in my life, especially of late to make him have that title.
Yes he puts a roof over our heads, but barely.
Mom says it's my honor to respect him.
But it's hard to respect someone who sits on his ass, watches tv, and sleeps in his chair.
That's how I know my father.
It's sad.
I've been depressed for months...
He has never asked me why.
Or what was wrong.
He may love me, but screaming the F bomb in front of a four year old sister probably wasn't the best move.
No I shouldn't have an attitude, but get off my ass.
Mom, you don't need to call me 400 times while I'm out for three hours.
I'm fine.
I'm not getting drunk or having sex.
I'm at Panera.
Chill.
Yet another reason I cannot wait to leave here.

I can't wait to start fresh.
Because I'm so done with all this shit.
Dealing with crap I don't need.
Dealing with people I don't need.
The amount of self absorbancy still astounds me.

I just want to stop feeling not good enough.
I don't have great grades.
I apparently am not too great of a person.
And it all leads back to him.
Fuck you Lucy Ford.