And It Get's Cloudy

My family is self destructing themselves from the inside out.
Mom cries.
Everyone cries.
Frequently.
It's mentally exhausting.
I'm all done with it.
I have enough issues.

I'm stuck inside my own head.
It's becoming cloudy again.
Freshmen year cloudy.
Like everything is fogged over.
I go here, and there.
But nothing stands out.
I guess that's depression at it's finest.
I just need to focus on school.
And dance?
HA, right.

I guess I need to trust that everything will work itself out.
I'll be fine eventually.
Not a crazy, sick girl.
But a healthy, happy one.
My sarcasm won't overwhelm me.
I just need to breathe.
The tension in my chest will let up eventually.
I'll be okay again.
Hell, maybe I'll feel safe again.
Maybe I'll even be able to trust again.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever cross his mind.
I mean just in passing.
Does he ever think about it?
I mean whatever.
You'd just think a decent person would.
Maybe even feel bad.
"He feels terrible he pressured you.
Maybe that will give you closure."
She wasn't joking.
No.
It doesn't.
But thanks.
Hope all is well, Captain Doucher.
xoxo.