Over

Hello. I don't really know what to say. I guess I can't start by saying I'm not angry really anymore. I'm doing much better then I was. I actually feel like myself again. I'm still pretty hurt by the Laura situation. I still can't wrap my head around the whole thing. Yes you promised you wouldn't date her. And yes you said we basically broke up because of distance. And look at you now. I myself, haven't had such good luck with forgetting about you. I know that once you truly love someone, you don't get over them in a rebound relationship. And you don't get over them in a matter of months. But apparently you have, and Laura seems just swell. It really hurt though. I was completely replaced. It was like I meant nothing. But I'm not angry anymore. Just sad. At thanksgiving I was at my aunt julies and we pass around a blessing cup. We say what we're thankful for, and I thanked god for giving me you. But I read your wall post on marys wall and clearly you've moved on and I'm just the idiot. I feel beyond stupid, sending you messages and you not responding. Pat doesn't respond either. And one day, I just stopped caring. The only thing that hurts now, is to know that you said a lot you didn't mean. And I'm not bashing you. It's true. But I was young and believed it. I should have known you just wanted out. You're with Laura and seem fine. I don't think you went through hell like I did. I lost a piece of my soul. But it's healed up a lot now. And you seem just dandy. And I'm actually okay. Just pretty lonely. I don't want you back. That's not my intention. I will probably never want you back, which in your case you're losing out. After what you've pulled with Laura, Gordon it's just wrong on every level. I don't have any respect for you. I really, truly loved you with my whole heart. With everything I had. And I've been acting like an idiot thinking you still loved me. But you don't obviously. You are fine. I am finally fine. And I was missing you so much this morning because I remembered you came over real early on black Friday morning. And then I read that, and lost all of that feeling. I really did miss my best friend. I really did. But now, the rain is just washing you out of my hair and out of my mind. I hope college is great, hope your long distance relationship is swell, and I'm so glad we've kept in touch ♥ hugs and kisses.


And suddenly it just became all better.
I saw what he posted on her wall and it was like I lost all interest.
What an asshole.
Wow do I hate him.
Wow.
I don't love him anymore.
One day it just went away.
And I sent that to him.
And I obviously got no response.
How heartless?
I have no respect.
None.
I will deal at work.
But personally, nothing.
Screw you Gordon.
For making me go crazy.
Communication does wonders.
I am thankful you were put in my life.
But only to make me a better person.
Not for my own personal heartache.
I've numbed all the memories.
I have basically erased you.
Hope life is just swell <3

As I watched Becca do Sugar, I realized how proud I really am.
She is my best friend.
And I love her to death.
Congratulations biffy.
You did it.
I love you.
And I'm so proud <3