Scramble Jamble

What is wrong with me?
Seriously?
Everyone tells me each day gets better but they are so wrong.
Everyday gets worse and worse.
I woke up this morning broken.
All I want is to be snuggled up next to him.
To be home again.
Why would I let myself do this?
I logically could never be back with him.
My friends and family would kill me.
But I'm so lost without him.
I know exactly who I am.
I know I am strong.
But a part of me is missing.
It's such a terrible feeling.
To know you can't call your best friend when you get your license.
Or when your dad gets a job.
Or when you just need someone to talk to.
If I had to send a letter to him, I'd say this.

I regret not taking a break after prom. We'd probably still be together. When we decided to be together again after wards, I forgave you, but didn't forget. And that's what is different about this time. I forget everything. I just want you. But I know I shouldn't maybe that's why this is so heart breaking. I'm not sure. Your profile picture on facebook is of you with another girl. I know that shouldn't hurt me, but it does. I don't understand why I am so attached to you. Why after everything, I just want to make love to you. Why every time I get someone else's number, my heart sinks. I think we need a little more time, but don't get over me just yet. Because I still want you. I can't believe it but I do. I hate myself for it too. Because I'll always have feelings for you. And do not tell me to go out with other guys. That rips me apart. Honestly. If you love me like I love you, we can get through this. As pathetic as it sounds. I miss everything about you. And everything reminds me of you. I love you.