Pain

I can't believe I didn't see this before.
I wasn't angry then, but I want to see him bleed.
I can't believe just 2 weeks ago he didn't want to break up and now suddenly he does.
I am in so much pain.
I can't even describe it.
I don't know which is worse.
You lying to me about being together for forever.
Or you lying to me that you've always got me.
You are scum.
You bailed on our relationship.
"I know you Jane, we don't work."
Shut up.
I want to punch you in the face.
I don't even want to be with you anymore.
I don't want you.
Right now, I want nothing to do with you.
Nothing.
You are such scum telling me our relationship wasn't good and stable enough.
You are such a liar.
I hate you.
I thought we only needed a break.
But now I know you killed me.
And now I know we can never be together.
Maybe not never, but for a very long time.
I can't believe I thought I knew you.
If I had known any of this was going to happen I never would have dated you.
Your interest in me definatly decreased.
I remember it was almost a year ago when you started messaging me every night.
Now, I messaged you most nights.
I had to ask you to hang out.
I was a burden to you.
And that kills me.
I wanted to be equally in love.
But I loved you more.
You loved basketball more than me.
That also kills me.
And the worst part?
You loved yourself more than me.
I can't believe I begged you to stay with me.
I'm pathetic.
Maybe in a month, if you asked for me back, I'd say yes.
That sickens me.
I'm sick.
I hate you for everything you've done to me.
You killed me.
Our relationship was obviously a joke to you.
Logically, you are correct.
But when you don't follow your heart, it bites you in the ass.
I promise.
You'll regret this.
I know you will.
But I hope you're in as much pain as me.
I hope you are happy.
Because I am in the toughest position.
To hate you, or to love you.
Thanks for all this.
Thanks for bailing after you said you never would.
And thanks for all the heart ache.
If you did this later on it'd be so much easier.
I'd be distracted by school and dance.
But no.
I'm all done.
I think at this point I hate you.
And I hope you feel like the scum that you are.
Worthless.