Coasters

On Friday night we hit a rough patch.
Our first fight actually.
It was weird because it was so out of the blue.
The conversation went from...
-I'm not ready to be in a relationship.
-To I feel like the biggest dick ever.
-To this is the worst mistake of my life.
-To I know I can't ask you to let me take back everything I said.
-To I think I love you.
The conversation was like a roller coaster.
Something made him change his mind.
I made him read this blog.
I wanted him to feel all the pain I've gone through, and what he was doing.
I dont want to get too into detail.
It makes me depressed.
Because now we are okay.
Really okay.
Actually we've hung out twice in three days.

I loved it when we just laid in the grass.
The way you held me.
You would rub your fingers on my arm, hip, or even back.
You rubbed my hair.
We sat with your arms around me.
We sat, relaxing.
Enjoying each others company.
We each brought our best friend too.
They happened to get along extremely well.
I like the fact that last night, I talked to you, and they were talking to each other too.
I hope we all become really close.
Just so we all have each other.
Our own support system.
It comforts me actually.
When I hate most kids at my school, I think of all of them.
I feel not alone anymore.
It's comforting.

Lying in the grass, my heart racing.
When he started to rub me, I was more surprised.
I obviously liked it.
But after the fact I liked it even more because I wanted more.
At one point my shirt had risen just enough for him to rub my skin.
We just laid there.
Looking at the sky, all enjoying everyone else.
It doesn't matter what you do, it's all about who you are with.
They all make me happy.

On Friday night we went to my best friend's school's football game.
It went oh so well.
As I was getting out of the car, I leaned over and I kissed him on the cheek.
I wasn't even thinking about it.
It was fine I guess because he asked to hang out the next day.

I hope everything turns out as it should be.
As it is meant to be.