Everything Happens For a Reason

The conversation was interesting.
It was weird.
We talked about his brother's new cleats.
We talked about him going away to college and how much we'd miss each other.
Then he decided to go to bed early, for him at least.
20 minutes later I got a message,

August 30 at 11:35pm
I can't sleep. I haven't gone to bed this early since before summer started

August 30 at 11:37pm
Hahah I have to admitt I was quite shocked when you said you were going to bed :)

We talked about how we over think things.
It was surprising to me he overthinks things too.
It had been bugging me all day so I finally decided to make a move.

Do you think about us talking so much a lot?

Yes. I Do. I assume you do too

Yeah you assumed right haha

And so you think you should tell me what you think? Haha. That's a lot of thinking.

I think you should tell me first what you think.

And that's when it happened.
I had went to visit him earlier in the week at his work.
I was so nervous I felt sick.
So sick it was terrible.
I couldn't eat, I couldn't function.
It was okay that we talked so much online because it was easier than face-to-face.
Or so I thought.
I went up to visit him on the suite level.
Terrified.
I saw his face and everything was okay.
It was weird.
I had never had that sort of calmness.
We talked for a while.
I had only thought it was a few minutes but it ended up more like almost more than a half hour.
I didn't even know time flew that quick.
I was shocked when I found out it had been so long.
But at one point we locked eyes and I felt like everything would be okay.
I felt comfort, passion, and a gentle feeling.
He gave my sister a bunch of free stuff which I was shocked too.
But the conversation was flowing.
It didn't stop.
I was so surprised.
It wasn't awkward a bit.
And I'm extremely sensitive to that kind of stuff.
Flowing.
I was shocked.

So last night, I finally made a move.
It had been driving me crazy.
He would tell me how pretty I was.
He would tell me how special I was.
He would tell me what he liked about me.
But we hadn't really discussed what we felt in so many words at all.
Finally it happened.

I basically can't beleive this is happening and I'm kind of in shock. I get introduced to all these new girls at trinity and I really have no interest.

My heart was racing like no other.
It was almost to the point where I wanted to scream.

Idk jane I always placed you off limits. And my brain says that that's for a reason. But my heart is telling my mind that it's crazy

I honestly couldn't breathe.
I was having a heart attack.

We got so lucky that the icecream cart had a delay so we could talk for a while. Everything happens for a reason

I know I was thinking about that and I honestly think it did happen for a reason. Idk this whole thing is confusing for me but clear at the same time. But I'm glad it's you :)

You too. I'm going to bed but you have to promise me one thing. That this will never ruin our friendship alright?

I promise whatever happens it won't ruin anything

I have this weird feeling it won't ruin anything.
And that things will be okay.
And that maybe we deserve each other.
And I think everything does happen for a reason.
And I think there was a reason we first met in church.
I don't really know what yet but I know it feels right.

These feelings won't go away, they've been knocking me sideways.

Sideways, Citizen Cope