Never Again

How could I be so stupid?
Of course this is the only reason he held on to me for so long.
Why else?
Of course he couldn't like me for who I truly am.
He would only like me for my body.
I can't believe it.
I don't think I've ever been so hurt in my entire life.
I can't believe I ever wanted him.
He said all those thing's...
Just for sex.
That's all he wanted.

6:31pm
jane can you talk privately right now?
6:31pmJane
yeah why?
?? dont call my cell its dead
6:32pm
like we need talk. i like you so much. and like i want you so bad.
6:33pmJane
um ok? havent we been talking?
6:33pm
no i meant like about this.
6:33pmJane
ok well talk.
6:34pm
i want you. i think your amazing.
6:34pmJane
this better not be a bunch of shit
6:35pmJane
cause he said that you liked a lot of girls while you went out with her
6:35pm
not really.
6:36pmJane
well thats what he said. if we ever went out, id be scared you liked other girls behind my back
6:36pm
i didnt though. and like i want to do more than just go out..
6:37pmJane
what do you want
6:37pm
to go all the way..

As I'm writing this I'm crying.
Why am I such an idiot?
In a way I'm glad this happen so now I have a good reason to hate his guts.
I want to go crawl in a hole and not come out for a while.
He wasn't kidding.
At all.
It's scary.
It honestly freaks me out, and I will never look at him the same ever again.
I'm hurt, I feel sick, and I don't ever want to step into that school again.
I'm just going to go cry some more.


That's all he wanted me for.
Maybe it was because that's all I'm worth.