When You Find You, Come Back To Me

I feel like you feel after a break up.
That horrible feeling that you'll never be happy ever again.
That feeling that you just want to curl up in a ball and die.
But here's where it gets complicated.
We haven't even broken up.

I'm very good at reading people.
I know when they're actually happy, and when they're actually sad.
And I know when they're actually committed to something.
Determined, if you will.
But I also know when they are not all of those things.

Pat is never happy.
He's always frustrated or mad about something, whether it be work, or a bad driver, he's always mad about something.
He likes to take his anger out on me much of the time too.
I don't get much affection from him.
I don't receive many happy vibes from him.
But you know what bothers me most?
He doesn't really try.
He doesn't want to put in the effort to make this work.
When we first started dating, he told everyone he knew about me.
He was obsessed with me.
He liked me way more than I liked him.
But now?
It's completely the opposite.
It's like he's bored.
He's just so not into it.
It's like he just wants sex or something.
And I can't believe I'm even saying that.
But honestly its a complete 180 from how it was 2 months ago.
I'm at the end of my rope.
If I'm not what you want, just tell me.
I will never be your Kate, and you will never be my Gordon.
And the difference between me and you is that I've accepted that.
You're stuck.
Confused.
You haven't been yourself.
You've even admitted it.
I've tried to let you do your thing, work out your issues on your own.
But I can't handle it anymore.
I'm done.
It really hurts to say that.
But I'm really not important to you.
Or maybe I am.
And you just don't show it.
Well I'm the type of girl that needs to be reminded of it.
So I'm sorry for being needy.
But not really.
I know what needs to be done.
I'm
Just completely dreading it.
So when you find you, come back to me.