What To Expect When You're Expecting

I'd like to say I'm good.
Because I'm quite fine.
No anger.
No heartbreak.
Just me.
Breathing in and out, smelling the night air.
It's my favorite smell.
Well I take that back, the pavement after it rains is my favorite smell.
But I dunno if it was a sign, but on Em's newsfeed on facebook, there she was.
I thought to myself, huh, that was the same picture she had a year ago.
I wondered where all the pictures of him and her went.
Why was he not in them?
He's been in them for months.
I was confused.
"Maybe there's trouble in paradise," Em said.
This meant something was obviously up.
Because if she didn't want to show him off, there was something clearly wrong.
But the thing was, I didn't have the heart to search his, to see if there was any change in his picture.
I guess I'd just rather not know.
I can be friends with Gordon.
But when it comes down to his love life, I still can't handle it.
Because a part of me will always love him.
And I think he'd feel the same way.
And I would like to think that we had a much deeper relationship then his with her.
But that's only because I don't want to feel stupid, because I felt that deep.
But regardless, I just found it ironic, because I might be called into work tomorrow, and he'll be there.
But if not then, it'll be Tuesday.
I just don't know what to expect.
I'll be happy and goofy, but who knows what he'll do.
I know he'd like to be friends, I just don't know how all of that will transition.
It's just a thought...

It's funny how you can try so hard at something and never be good enough.
I know I have an attitude problem towards dance, but I have good reason to.
I've been dancing there since the age of eight.
She doesn't look at me, talk to me, etc.
And so much has gone on that I can't even begin to get into it deeply.
But seriously, they need to lighten up over there, because I am so sick of being yelled at etc for my lack of motivation and enthusiam.
If you think about it, I'm that most out going, quirky, funny kid at the place.
I don't have the attitude problem.
It's the teachers etc.
We live in the middle of nowhere considering the rest of the companies at RDA.
They are all in major cities.
Stupid northern New England is nowhere near any sort of city life.
So please, let's go back to the way it use to be.
Lighten up, and stop and think that we do have lives outside of dance.
So rehearsal from12-7 isn't making anyone too chipper.
It's all about perspective.
And Trish, I respect your intentions, but the delivery is what actually matters.
Think about that once in a while.