People Suck, I Suck, It's All The Same

I can stop talking.
People need to control their anger a little better.
And people need to understand that I'm a human being, not a chew toy.
I get I suck, just go away from me now.

I'm starting to think we were never really friends.
I barely talked to her, and she lashed out.
It pisses me off.
She's just another one of those people who I trusted and they let me down.
So I'm just gonna not trust anyone anymore.
I'm going to keep everything between me and my blog.
Because apparently speaking about our problems just creates more problems.
How counter productive....

I'm starting to think that my life is going downhill.
I've been am idiot lately.
Slacking off with grades, not caring about anything, being anti-social, etc.
I've just been an idiot.
And when I think about why, it all goes back to that night.
I just sat there and sobbed.
It was right before I went to sleep.
Mary rubbed my back as I sobbed.
"He hurt me so bad.
I just hate him and everything he's done to me."
Yep.
It all resorts back to him.
All of my trust issues.
All of my commitment issues.
All of my love issues.
Love in the sense of friendship, passion, and more.
It's just too funny.
He has created hell in my life.
Not that it's him, but it's the priciple of everything.

I'm so sick of just not talking to people.
Like if we're in a fight or whatever.
Or if we just stop.
There are countless friends I've lost over the years.
And it makes me sad.
It makes me wonder what I did wrong.
Was I too headstrong?
Probably.
All I know is that I have many scars from friends just disapearing out of my life.
Not massive ones.
But ones just big enough to leave a mark.
I'm very fragile at the moment.
Very little couldn't make me cry.
I've cried from random tv shows all week.
Never happens.
Just don't think about the meaning of anything around you.
Just go with it.
It's easier that way.