Sunshine Sunshine Is Fine

I've been pretty decent of late.
My heart hasn't hurt too much.
But for some reason something posessed me to read some old emails.

"I love you so much babe... I always want to be your sunlight <3"

And when you went away, what do you expect?
Of course I'll be a mess.
You changed somehow is June.
May, whatever.
You decided you wanted to be free.
I get it.
But Laura... Hahahaha.
Reading those made me think, he will never have feelings for her like he had me.
I was his world.
And I will never be his world again.
He will regret it.
Who knows when.
But Laura makes me laugh.
I feel sad for her actually.
And for him.
He may have moved on.
But once you connect with another humans soul, it's like you just know stuff.
I feel his love for me still every day.
But only at night.
When I lay here.
Him laying in his dorm.
I know I cross his mind.
And that's okay.
I was okay reading those emails.
I only cried about the sunlight.
Nothing about the I love you's.
I'm really okay.
It's a weird concept.
I miss Pat more than I miss Gordon.
But I know me and Pat will be best friends again one day.
I just miss how it was.
The security.
But I hope they are good.
Happy, healthy.
I loved them both with all my heart.
And I know things will be okay.
Because I'm already okay.

And aunt Julie, thank you for telling Nick's ex girlfriends mom we were together.
Sweet.
Probably the opposite of true.