Who The Hell Was I?

I poured my heart out.
Completely and totally.
And still got nothing back.
Not a single word.
There are many reasons why this could be.
But all I know is it hurts.
I just want to cry all the time.
Wondering what I did.
What I said.
What I didn't say.
I just want to not be in my body anymore.
Not have all these feelings and emotions.
Just breathe.
Because you're coming home this weekend which it happens to be my birthday.
And you won't say happy birthday, or even hello.
And that makes me want to go hide under a rock.
The wound becomes a little deeper every time.
I've turned to God.
He's my only hope.
I feel like pandora's box.
All the evils in the world are swirling around me but there's also hope.
It's the only thing I've got left.
Because you've made me broken.
And you made me love you.
And now, you make me hate you.
If you really loved me, you wouldn't completely ignore me.
Or if you really loved me, you would ignore me.
I just want to know who the hell was I in your life?
Who the hell was I.

Mary is attempting to be nice.
It's confusing and I'm not falling for anything.

Kya and I are friends again.
Boy did I miss her.