Out Of Sight

Everyday I get better and better.
Everyday I want to talk to him less.
Because I know that when I, if I talk to him, I'll want him.
But I don't right now.
So I'm in a good place.
I miss his presence in my life.
But deep down I still have many scars.
And before I speak to him again, those need to be almost gone.

I am finally attracted to other men.
Before, men almost turned me off.
But now, I feel like I'm ready to passionately make out with someone.
I'm ready to have a new relationship.
I don't want one, but I'm ready.
I'm relieved.
I thought it would never go away.
The pain.
The emptiness.
Finally.
No pain.
Just memories.
Like dust in the wind.
I've decided that I'm not going to reach out to him.
He can talk to me, but I refuse to speak to him.
I like where I am.
I will never look pathetic again.
I will never reach out to him.

He pinned me on the ground.
More than once.
He was on top of me.
We almost held hands.
Almost kissed.
But it's you.
I dunno if that's a good idea.
You annoy me so much.
But you're you.
You'll always be one of my very best friends.
Why does life have to be so damn complicated.

I'm doing so well right now.
I don't want anything to screw it up.
I'm finally almost happy.