Coincidence vs. God, Fate, and the Universe

It's hard to believe it's been so long.
So much has happened.
We're on alright terms now.
I just miss him.
But he said he misses me more.
He's off to Nova Scotia.
Visiting his sick grandmother.
And vacation.
It's where WE began.
Kind of sickening actually.

We had a family party today for the July birthdays.
I came across my school stuff.
I was figuring out what needed to go etc.
I looked through a notebook and saw I note I left sometime around January.
I was weird.
I started reading it.
It said this....

"Thing's mentally are better.
I feel more like me.
I'm just excited for summer.
I picture us swimming until two in the morning.
Laying under the stars.
Kissing like it was our first.
Your touch in the warm air.
It makes me melt.
.... I love him so much.
I trust him.
I hope it lasts for forever.
I love you.
Always."

Why did I come across this?
What is the purpose?
Why?
Was it just coincidence?
Or was God trying to tell me something.
Was it the universe rubbing this all in my face even more?
Was fate screwing me over again?
Why did I see this.
I read a few more.
They mostly cried desparately for a reasoning why he was so busy.
And why he lost interest.
Why did I love him so much.
Why DO I love him so much.
Secretly I'm scared to fall in love again.
I'm convinced it won't happen till college.
Maybe even after.
Maybe never.
I know there's someone better out there.
I am just scared I won't find someone like him.
Smart, attractive, athletic, witty, sensitive.
Perfection.
Minus the anger, etc.
I could have don't things differently.
But I didn't know any better.
I was head over heals in love.
It's just weird.

A friend told me to prepare myself for when he wants me back.
What will I say?
He said it might not happen for months, or even years.
But it will.
I don't know what I'd say to be honest.
No because he hurt me so badly.
Yes because I love him.
Which one wins?
Mind over the heart?
Which way is right?
It's so confusing.
I'm doing better, more controlled.
Just a little sad.

Theo came into my life today.
Gorgeous little puppy.
So glad he's in for the family ride.
Love at first sight :)

Mary still has a bug up her ass.
Seriously I don't care what she does or sho she's with.
As long as I'm not involved I don't care.

I told God this was all in his hands.
He has taken the uncontrolable away from me.
It's all in his hands.
He's the only one I trust.
I hope.