The Story

Space.
There are quite a few definitions of space.
Like Space where the planets are.
Or like the space between something.

Space.
We took space.
Yet he never mentioned a thing.
He probably hooked up with other girls.
Actually I know he did.
But he still never mentioned anything.
Not a thing about us.
Where we were going, where we were at.
Nothing.
3 months later and nothing.
So naturally I wanted to know what he was thinking.
I need closure or something.
So I asked.

i dont know.

no you have to know. what the hell are you thinking

i dont have to decide

fine then i will

alright. decision?

im done.

sweet deal.


... Sweet deal.
It's all he said.
He didnt seem sad at all.
That was the part that hurt.
He didn't seem sad.

I can't believe I liked you so much. It was all a dissapointment. I don't get it. So I'm done. I've finally moved on and have a guy who actually cares about my life and feelings. And thanks for everything fuck you.

woooah. lets all be calm here. congrats on having a love interest.

And that was it.
That was all that was said.
I'll admitt I was harsh but he deserved it.
I almost told him I thought I had even loved him.
He had told me that before too.
But something stopped me.
I don't know what.
It confused me.
But that's it.
That's my closure.


We did a combination today with a woman from STEPS.
She was describing what she wanted us to feel.

Pretend that someone stops you in your tracks.
You feel upset.
And it then takes you back how it used to be.
Remember, feel it, express it.

I won't lie I had tears in my eyes.
Too upset.
So I tried to dance what I felt.
I don't know if it worked.
As long as I don't look back on everything I'm fine.


We also partnered today.
I felt like an idiot.
I can't do it.
And I'm so tall.
I look like and idiot.
So stupid.
And I hate it when people laugh.
Cause inside it hurts.
I'm trying my best.


So we talked till 2 AM the other day.
He started the conversation.
He and I have such an odd sense of humor.
And we can relate to things others wouldn't understand.
He makes me happy and shockingly cares about my life.
Mindless chatter about random things that make me laugh is so ebjoyable.


I know I have plently of friends, but it hurts to see your old best friends ignore you.
It hurts.
Yeah there are 2,700 kids at our school, but we all have so much history.
It sucks.