Oh. My. God.

Well wow.
I mean wow.
This cannot be happening right now.
Like, no way.
I don't want this.
I definitely don't need this.
Or do I...?
I don't know what to think.
All I know is I'm completely and totally drawn in now.
And if we work together all summer?
Wow.

I never thought this would happen.
I really truly didn't have feelings for him until I really hung out with him.
Not like it was in the summer.
I'm ready now though.
Hanging out today put a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach.
I liked the way his car smelled.
I loved his sense of humor.
I loved the music he listened to.
I loved everything about that car ride.
I am still in shock.
I can't believe I have real feelings for him.
I never thought this would be an issue.
Ever.
But we're going to prom together.
And they'll be dancing.
And a lot of physical contact.
Oh.
My.
God.
This is me panicking.
But the weird thing is, that my feelings for Gordon, they aren't forgotten.
It's like they're in a drawer and the drawer is closed.
It's a weird phenomina.
My feelings for Gordon will always be special.
But I need to be happy right now.
I've mentioned him in past blogs before.
Just mentioned.
But I dunno.
It's all weird.
Maybe this is a fling?
Hopefully?
Because I don't feel like liking boys right now.
Not in the mood.
Or am I.
I'm marrying my cats, remember?


Yeah, have fun getting drunk.
And Pat, so glad you ENJOYED what happened on that fine night.
You make it seem like it's awkward.
But you really liked it and were thrilled I hear.
Nice one.
Too bad I'm so far past that.